During the divorce mediation, you will explore and resolve many issues that revolve around planning for the various aspects of your children's lives. After the major issues of custody, residence, medical, and financial areas are dealt with, one important issue that is sometimes overlooked is planning for your children's religious or spiritual future. It is vital that both parents discuss this fundamental foundation of a child's life and the decisions you make now will follow into the adult lives of your children.
When both parents share the same faith or spiritual philosophy, this can be one of the easier parts of your mediation. Still, which facility they will attend, potential counseling through your church or synagogue, and parental attendance at religious events should be covered and settled. A special concern is the spiritual education of your children.
Parents sometimes agree to send their children to religiously affiliated schools. When this happens, the tuition and associated costs can be very high and parents must decide who pays what and how exactly it will be paid. But more than the money involved, recognizing the potential spiritual benefits of a formal religious program should be utmost in a parent's mind.
Often the changing dynamic of a divorce leaves children asking fundamental questions about God's role in their lives. Discussing spirituality with your children can be as challenging as discussions about drugs and sex. A pastor, priest, or rabbi can give the biblical and historic role God plays in their lives and provide a consistent part in listening and advising all family members. Care should be taken to choose clergy that are sympathetic and responsible in their dealings with children. Because of their vulnerability, close supervision is essential.
Both you and your former spouse should speak with a spiritual advisor and remain involved throughout the process. There have been abuses when children are at risk because of their shaken faith, possible intimidation, and misplaced trust in church leaders. The perfect arrangement would be with family group sessions where you are always present when your children meet with clergy.
Because faith based issues affect and involve the entire family, it might be a good idea to consult grandparents, godparents, and aunts and uncles. Often our faith is something passed down through generations and your extended family can be a valuable resource and provide good insight. A church or synagogue can become a kind of home for your child, and when families can agree on these concepts, the institution can be a safe harbor for the entire family as they experience the difficulties of divorce.
Brian James is an experienced Divorce and Family Mediator with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. He started his mediation practice, C.E.L. and Associates, in late 2005.
Brian earned his B.S. in Sociology from Northern Illinois University in 1994 and completed training in Mediation and Conflict Resolution at Northwestern University.
Brian worked in the Criminal Justice System helping domestic violence and divorcing families resolve family conflicts. He assisted with the healing process that took place after these life-changing events had occurred.
When both parents share the same faith or spiritual philosophy, this can be one of the easier parts of your mediation. Still, which facility they will attend, potential counseling through your church or synagogue, and parental attendance at religious events should be covered and settled. A special concern is the spiritual education of your children.
Parents sometimes agree to send their children to religiously affiliated schools. When this happens, the tuition and associated costs can be very high and parents must decide who pays what and how exactly it will be paid. But more than the money involved, recognizing the potential spiritual benefits of a formal religious program should be utmost in a parent's mind.
Often the changing dynamic of a divorce leaves children asking fundamental questions about God's role in their lives. Discussing spirituality with your children can be as challenging as discussions about drugs and sex. A pastor, priest, or rabbi can give the biblical and historic role God plays in their lives and provide a consistent part in listening and advising all family members. Care should be taken to choose clergy that are sympathetic and responsible in their dealings with children. Because of their vulnerability, close supervision is essential.
Both you and your former spouse should speak with a spiritual advisor and remain involved throughout the process. There have been abuses when children are at risk because of their shaken faith, possible intimidation, and misplaced trust in church leaders. The perfect arrangement would be with family group sessions where you are always present when your children meet with clergy.
Because faith based issues affect and involve the entire family, it might be a good idea to consult grandparents, godparents, and aunts and uncles. Often our faith is something passed down through generations and your extended family can be a valuable resource and provide good insight. A church or synagogue can become a kind of home for your child, and when families can agree on these concepts, the institution can be a safe harbor for the entire family as they experience the difficulties of divorce.
Brian James is an experienced Divorce and Family Mediator with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. He started his mediation practice, C.E.L. and Associates, in late 2005.
Brian earned his B.S. in Sociology from Northern Illinois University in 1994 and completed training in Mediation and Conflict Resolution at Northwestern University.
Brian worked in the Criminal Justice System helping domestic violence and divorcing families resolve family conflicts. He assisted with the healing process that took place after these life-changing events had occurred.